I remember the moment clearly. My five-year-old daughter looked up at me with those big, inquisitive eyes and asked, “Mommy, can we say our prayers before dinner like we used to?”
I froze, fork midair.
How could I explain that prayer had become complicated for me? That somewhere between the unanswered questions, theological doubts, and shifting beliefs, I’d simply… stopped praying. Not dramatically. Not definitively. I’d just quietly let the practice slip away, like an old sweater I’d outgrown but couldn’t quite bring myself to donate. I didn’t know how to talk about prayer to my kid.
If you’ve found yourself in a similar place — navigating the complex terrain of raising spiritually curious children while your own faith has undergone transformation — you’re not alone. The disorientation is real. The guilt can be powerful. And the questions keep coming:
- How do I teach my children to pray when I’m no longer sure what I believe about who or what is listening?
- Can I pass on spiritual practices that once meant everything to me, even as my relationship with them has changed?
- Am I depriving my children of something essential if I don’t provide clear spiritual guidance?
- How to pray for kids who don’t believe in God?
This post won’t offer certainties where there aren’t any. But it will offer pathways — gentle, thoughtful approaches to prayers for kids, gratitude, and meditation that honor both your journey and your children’s need for spiritual nourishment.
Even if your beliefs have shifted, these practices have been meaningful and transformative throughout human history, and can still be relevant and beneficial for you now.
When Prayer Becomes Complicated: Finding New Language for Ancient Practices
“I stopped praying after going through a faith shift. I just didn’t know what I believed, so I dropped my habit of prayer that I’d had since I was a child. And yet I eventually felt like something was missing.” — Jon Ogden, co-founder of Uplift Kids
Sound familiar? Many of us have found ourselves in this disorienting space – where familiar spiritual practices no longer feel authentic, but their absence leaves a noticeable void in our lives and our homes.
“About a decade ago, I had what might be called a faith shift or faith crisis, and I was completely disoriented,” Jon continues. “ I didn’t know what I believed — like an existential crisis. And in the wake of that, I didn’t know what to do with prayer and I just got out of the habit because I didn’t know what to think of it. Yet I noticed that there was something missing in my life and that the form was powerful even when I didn’t know what to believe.”
This tension that Jon describes — between intellectual uncertainty and a persistent spiritual hunger — resonates with so many parents navigating faith shifts. You might recognize this feeling: the mental discomfort of not having clear answers alongside the emotional sense that something vital has been lost. The routines that once structured your spiritual life have fallen away, but the need for connection, for meaning-making, for sacred pauses in the day hasn’t disappeared.
Jon found value in the form of prayer even when the theological foundations had shifted beneath him. Like learning to dance to a new rhythm, he discovered that the practice itself—setting aside time for reflection, gratitude, and intention-setting—fulfilled something essential that transcended his specific beliefs about who or what might be listening.
For parents, this realization can be liberating. It suggests that you don’t need perfect theological clarity before resuming spiritual practices with your children. The rituals themselves — the gathered family, the quiet moment, the shared words — may carry their own intrinsic value, creating spaces where both you and your children can explore meaning together, even amidst uncertainty.
What Science Says About Prayers for Kids
Before we dive into practical approaches, it’s worth noting what researchers have discovered about prayer’s effects on wellbeing. Brandon Whittington and Steven Scher, psychological researchers from Eastern Illinois University, studied various forms of prayer and found something fascinating:
“Three forms of prayer (adoration, thanksgiving, reception) had consistently positive relations with well-being measures, whereas the other three forms of prayer (confession, supplication, obligatory) had negative or null relations with the well-being measures. The prayer types having positive effects appear to be less ego-focused, and more focused on God, whereas the negative types have an opposite nature.”
In other words, prayers centered on gratitude, wonder, and receptive listening tend to enhance wellbeing, while prayers focused on obligation, requests, or confession don’t show the same benefits.
This research suggests that even if your theology has changed, certain forms of prayers for kids might still offer psychological and emotional benefits for both you and your children.
Reimagining Prayer for Kids After a Faith Shift
Prayer can be reimagined as less about belief or disbelief and more about taking on a posture of humility, openness, and generosity. Here are some approaches that have helped parents navigate this terrain:
- Secular Prayers for Kids Through Intention-Setting
Frame prayer as naming your intentions with phrases like “may I be kind” or “may I be patient” or “may I be open” regardless of belief. This becomes a way to consciously recommit to what you truly want, both for yourself and your children.
Michelle Larson, Uplift Kids co-founder and marriage and family therapy associate, shares: “There’s something unique about prayer and bringing words and bringing form to what’s in our hearts that makes us conscious of our own hopes and our own longings, and we think there’s a real value there.” - Help, Thanks, Wow: Simple Non-Religious Prayers for Kids
Author Anne Lamott offers a wonderfully simple framework for prayer that transcends specific theological constructs:
Help: Expressing what we need or where we feel lost
Thanks: Expressing gratitude for what we have received
Wow: Expressing awe at the beauty and mystery of life
This framework can provide a structure for prayer that doesn’t require theological certainty – just honesty about what we’re experiencing. - Listening Prayer: Secular Spiritual Practices for Kids
“Listening is the beginning of prayer,” said Mother Teresa. This form of prayer doesn’t require us to formulate perfect words or even to believe that someone specific is listening. It simply invites us to create space for inner wisdom to emerge.
Amanda Suarez, Uplift cofounder and a school psychologist, reflects on this experience: “In stillness, in silence, wisdom can emerge. There’s truth in the stillness and in the silence.”
You might invite your children into simple moments of quiet listening, asking them, “What do you think your wisest self would say about this?” or “Let’s be quiet for a moment and see if any answers come to us.” - Non-Religious Bedtime Prayers Through Gratitude Practices
“If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice,” wrote Meister Eckhart, a Christian mystic. Gratitude forms the foundation of many spiritual traditions and remains accessible regardless of theological beliefs.
Maya Angelou beautifully captured this when she wrote, “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.” - Wonder as Prayer
Claude Debussy once said, “To feel the supreme and moving beauty of the spectacle to which Nature invites her ephemeral guests! … That is what I call prayer.”
Cultivating a sense of wonder can be a form of prayer that doesn’t require specific theological frameworks. Gazing at stars, examining a flower’s intricate patterns, or watching waves crash against rocks can all become moments of transcendence that connect us to something larger than ourselves. - Gratitude for Kids: The Practice That Transforms Families
Gratitude practices offer a particularly accessible entry point for families navigating changing beliefs. Research consistently shows that gratitude enhances wellbeing, strengthens relationships, and builds resilience.
Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, notes: “Gratitude is fertilizer for the mind, spreading connections and improving its function in nearly every realm of experience… Gratitude reduces lifetime risk for depression, anxiety and substance abuse disorders, and is a key resiliency factor in the prevention of suicide.”
Simple Gratitude Practice for Kids and Families
Notice and Name the Small Things
The very first bite of pizza, catching sight of a spider spinning a web, a blanket fresh out of the dryer on a cold evening – bringing these moments to conscious awareness helps them “stick” more. Make it a family game to notice and name these small delights throughout your day.
Create a Family Gratitude Ritual
Small and simple gratitude practices make gratitude explicit. Some examples:
Expressing thanks at mealtime
Having a gratitude jar where family members can write down and add things they are thankful for
Taking turns naming one thing each family member appreciates before bedtime
Model Specific Gratitude
Rather than saying, “Thanks for your help,” try saying, “Thank you for pausing your game to take out the trash, even when you probably didn’t feel like it.” The more specific the expression of gratitude, the more sincerely it falls on the ears of the receiver.
Feel What It’s Like to Miss Something
If it seems like your children are taking something for granted, challenge them to abstain for a time. The key is that it should be a willing inquiry, not a guilt-ridden punishment. This practice helps develop appreciation for what we typically have abundant access to.
Increase Gratitude by Giving Your Kids Less
Humans are subject to what scientists call “availability bias,” which means that we come to expect things we routinely encounter. Try not buying the new toy as soon as it comes out or always letting your kids decide on the restaurant when the family goes out. This ensures that they see treats and privileges as just that, rather than rights and entitlements.
Meditation for Kids: Training Attention and Cultivating Awareness
Meditation for kids offers another avenue for spiritual practice that doesn’t necessarily require specific theological frameworks. It’s about developing awareness and presence — skills that serve children well regardless of their eventual spiritual or religious choices.
Why Meditation for Kids Matters
Amanda notes that meditation techniques support emotional regulation, enhance concentration, and help children ground themselves in the present moment. While she rarely uses the word “meditation” with children, she regularly incorporates the underlying practices.
Michelle explains why these practices are valuable: “We can actually train our attention… Just like building muscle in the gym, we can build our own thought patterns. We can actually train our minds to be focused and attentive to what we want them to be focused on.”
Simple Meditation Practices for Kids
Hand-Tracing Breath Exercise
This activity appears in multiple sources as particularly effective for children. Have your child trace the shape of their hand with their other index finger, breathing in as they move up each finger and breathing out as they move down. This visual and tactile approach makes breath awareness accessible even for young children.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise
This practice helps children return to their bodies using their senses:
- Name 5 things you can see
- Name 4 things you can feel/touch
- Name 3 things you can hear
- Name 2 things you can smell
- Name 1 thing you can taste
This exercise can help children (and adults) regulate emotions and return to the present moment.
Box Breathing
- Imagine tracing a box with your breath:
- Breathe in as you trace up one side
- Hold as you trace across the top
- Breathe out as you trace down the other side
- Hold as you trace across the bottom
This visual approach makes breathing exercises more engaging for children.
The Flame Game
Light a candle (with appropriate supervision) and invite children to control their breath in ways that make the flame dance without blowing it out. This game naturally encourages breath awareness and control.
Still Sitting Practice
Once children are comfortable with more active forms of meditation, you might introduce brief periods of still sitting. Start with very short intervals (30 seconds can be a good starting point for young children) and gradually increase the time as their capacity grows.
Keep the focus simple – perhaps counting breaths up to 10, or simply noting what they see, hear, or feel in each moment.
Create Meaningful Spiritual Experiences Through Your Family’s Sacred Rhythm
As you navigate these practices in the context of your shifting faith, remember that what matters most is authenticity and connection. Your children will benefit more from practices that genuinely resonate with you than from perfectly executed rituals that feel hollow.
Rabbi Rami Shapiro beautifully expresses this transformative potential: “Prayer is an act of transformation — of moving from narrow mind to spacious mind, from self to Self, from me to we, from taking to giving to sharing.”
This transformation — this expansion of awareness beyond our immediate concerns — remains valuable regardless of our specific beliefs about who or what might be listening.
Creating Your Family’s Approach to Spiritual Experiences
Consider these questions as you develop practices that work for your family:
What spiritual practices still feel authentic to you, even as your beliefs have changed? Perhaps lighting candles still creates a sense of sacred space, or certain songs still move you deeply.
What language feels comfortable as you frame these practices for your children? Some parents continue using traditional religious language because it connects their children to extended family traditions. Others adopt more universal language about love, connection, or wonder.
What values do you want these practices to cultivate? Gratitude? Compassion? Wonder? Connection? Let these core values guide your choices.
How might you honor both your journey and your children’s need for spiritual foundation? Can you be honest about your questions while still providing structure and practice?
What community resources might support your family? Even if traditional religious settings no longer feel like a fit, there may be other communities that provide spiritual nourishment in ways that align with your evolving beliefs.
A Final Thought: The Gift of Authenticity
Perhaps the best spiritual gift we can give our children isn’t certainty but authenticity – showing them how to engage honestly with life’s big questions. When we model this approach, we help them develop their own relationship with what they find sacred, whatever form that may take.
Kabir Helminski, a Sufi practitioner, asks: “How often do we listen within?” This question reminds us to tune into our inner wisdom – a practice that serves us through all life’s transitions, including shifts in faith.
As we navigate spiritual parenting after a faith shift, many wisdom traditions offer similar core practices: cultivating awareness, expressing gratitude, approaching life with wonder, and extending compassion toward ourselves and others.
These practices transcend specific theological frameworks and remain valuable regardless of where spiritual journeys lead us or our children.
So the next time your child asks to pray before dinner, take a deep breath and respond from your authentic center – offering a practice that honors both your journey and their spiritual curiosity. In that honest moment of connection, something truly sacred emerges.
What prayers for kids, meditation practices, or gratitude rituals have you found meaningful after experiencing a faith shift? How have you approached spiritual experiences with your children? Follow us on Instagram or join our email list to let us know!
